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Can I ask you something ?

What do you think is going to happen now?

Do you think there’s going to be some sort of revelation as to why we do the things we do ?

Like there is some sort of logic behind things?

… A reason if you wish for us to find ? A purpose in life? Like there is some sort of order to existence ?

Like if we really try hard and we really discipline ourselves we will somehow be less shallow ? Less ignorant ? Less dissatisfied ? Less bleak ? Less undone ?

…If you look at life and all its “miracles” one thing becomes abundantly clear; we are not a part of it. We are merely spectators. And our infatuation with life and nature is nothing but a testament to our own shortcomings, Inabilities and ignorance.

We truly are “less”.

…Less capable if we posses any capability to begin with.

Less knowledgeable if we are even sure of what we think we know. Or how we know it.

Less here and less there. Just less.

So the next time you think about imparting your wisdom onto others you deem “less” take a long look at yourself. The self in and of itself.

And no , I don’t mean embarking on a journey of self-discovery, no something much more simpler;

Just the truth of who you really are, not wish to be. But are, And you will see that you, like all of us, are less.

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Wait

She never believed in the power of imagination. Never thought her toys were real. Never felt a bond or a need for that one stuffed elephant or purple giraffe. Never cared for barbies or doll houses. Never felt she had the right to be so silly.

So it was rather funny when the one day she decided to tuck herself in a bed barricaded with all the toys and stuffed animals she ever had. To try and feel safe, try and protect herself from the unknown surrounded by those familiar squishy faces buried in those colorful beings, that very same night the big brown bear appeared.

In the dead silence of the night when she thought it just might have worked; That perhaps magic was real and her story was finally one with a happy ending.

However, that was a short lived fantasy; one That disappeared ever so fast when the big brown bear wondered why she was talking to herself. The bear growled trying to sound concerned. She was confused didn’t know she was even making a sound. She nonetheless , said she was having a nightmare. Truth be told she had been living in one her entire life.

But you see .. that’s something that No real big brown bear would believe seeing how she wasn’t even asleep. But this big brown bear seemed to agree stood up and said she should come with him, leave the toys in her bed and sleep in his den.

For he too, was alone that night. The goose was nowhere to be found and who knew when or if she would ever come back.

The big brown bear can protect the little girl from her nightmare, The big brown bear wasn’t a stuffed one laying in her bed. He was the real deal. He was the big strong brown bear.

And to think she thought the toys could protect her and replace the goose. Forced to leave her toys behind she said goodbye that night. As she summoned the courage to walk hand in hand with the big brown bear, hopped in his bed and it was time to sleep.

Surely the bear would fall asleep soon enough but not before his big hairy hand started to wander off .

But then again, she thought it was night time and asleep she should have been a long time ago, had she not believed that magic was real and toys and stuffed animals could protect and keep her safe.

Silly girl was stuck now, once again a victim of her own foolishness. The bear was on a hunt and she can do nothing but pretend to be dead and wait it out.

Pretend to be asleep is what she did knowing she was in the wrong to feel his hands as it was late at night past her bedtime. She was in the wrong and should not disturb the bear who had every right to be awake, unlike her.

The night was long and even though she knew would eventually end, she just didn’t feel like morning would ever come much like the goose. But She just had to wait it out. Just wait it out.

…And maybe grow up and realize that toys can’t protect. Bears will always hunt and the goose never asked for the burden of the golden egg and must be protected from knowing her misfortune is shared. Golden eggs only exist to be served one way or another.

And Just like how the big brown bear had the right stay up all night, the goose too, had every right to leave her toys behind when the nightmares would crawl in her nest.

Flawless

Over at the neighbors’ house there exists inherently flawed individuals begging for salvation from sins they are yet to commit

Their existence is nothing but broken pieces barely sticking together long enough to endure their ultimate succumb to madness

They are pathetic parasites waiting for a chance to feed.

They run aimlessly in circles, building walls and Shoving laws to make themselves feel prestigious

They often blame circumstances for lack of chances and take pleasure in the misery of their own demises

They claim knowledge and enlightenment but sadly can’t face their own ignorance crying out for justice.

There might have been a time and place for them but that was swiftly demolished by their own bottom feeding nature and self loathing instincts

To destroy. To break down. To tear apart and divide the way. To lead by example of the worst and escape from one atrocity to another one much more forced.

Biologically wired to feel superior sad little beings never stood a chance to fight their own demons.

Tiny little crumbs for tiny little people. Bigger slice of pies for mouthless screeches.

Her Mind

In my mind I’ve lived with you for a thousand years. Things were never bad. We never grew apart. We never aged. We never got sick. We never fought.

In my mind We never became the thing I feared the most. And in my mind you never broke down , gave up and, left.

In my mind there exists a world where everything makes sense. And nothing is complicated by being simplified.

In my mind Things aren’t black or white.

In my mind there was never a question. No forgiveness to be granted. No acts of atonement to be promised. No reconciliations. No, we were both aware.

In my mind you understood before there was even a need to explain. You answered before the question was asked and you sang a song in the crowd that nobody heard but myself.

In my mind we were both on the same page and together we accepted the absurdity of this world around us. Including our own.

In my mind we both laughed at those so desperate for things to be otherwise. In my mind they were so pathetic it consumed them alive. Destroyed a little piece of them every time they stood up, fought, and tried to conquer and defeat, repeating the same cycle of insanity every day. Until there was nothing left. Not even themselves to be found.

In my mind we pitied how deluded they were. In my mind the parades , marches and chants were nothing but the perfect recipe for the ultimate fall of positive bias; the embodiment of style over substance .

In my mind the breakdown would’ve been comical if it wasn’t so tragical that they just couldn’t let go. Poor thing. They never woke up from this , broke free and relinquished the obligation.

In my mind the deafening silence was the epitome of empowerment, albeit rather overwhelming at times. In my mind it was So loud and demanding It brought us together tighter than ever. In my mind we felt so safe by the constant denial.

In my mind the minute we lost hope we began to live and understand life

– we got this-

In my mind we lived for the now and that was more than enough .

-We had it all-

In my mind you never wanted more and I never felt betrayed. In my mind we were happy and we were there. In my mind you always found ways to avoid expectations and explanations. In mind it was second nature. In my mind I was never not enough and needed justifications.

In my mind I didn’t understand why you just couldn’t give up. In my mind you had all the means to build this world for us, and destroy the population. It was in your command.

In my mind it still doesn’t matter. In my mind it never did. In my mind we were there. We lived there. We still do.

-Even if we never did-